How Canada came to be [for Bob Mann]

 

[Starting new thread from old ("Either that bike goes or...")
because it's scrolling off my news client.]

Bob Mann wrote:

 >> one wonders if they shouldn't be required by law or at least
 >> by local custom to make a beep-beep sound in warning as [Canadians]
 >> back pedal and reverse their positions.

I don't think MikeWhy appreciated my attempt at Canadian humour.

 > So we're pragmatists.

Exactly. What they neglected to tell us in history class is that Canada
came about because of the American civil war. Here's how it happened:

September, 1864. The ACW was raging. To date it was the most mechanized
and worst war in history. Death and destruction on an unprecedented
scale. It must have been terrifying to behold, even for neutrals like
us. Britain's remaining tidewater colonies in North America (what we
now call the "Maritimes") got scared. After all it hadn't even been two
decades since Britain's Oregon Territories were lost to invading swarms
of Americans. And they were only gold miners, not soldiers! There was
no telling what the swollen Union Army would do, who over the slightest
international incident could easily kick ass first and take names later.

These colonies decided that it would be diplomatically more difficult
for the Yanks to annex a sovereign nation, so they arrange to hold
a conference to that effect in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island.
(The Newfies, out on a rock in the Atlantic which they assumed wouldn't
interest the Americans, didn't show.) (Until 1949.)

Then Upper and Lower Canada got wind of the meeting. Recognizing
a good thing when they saw one, they decided to crash the party.
Ontario sent John A. MacDonald (whose near-sober face graces our
ten dollar bill -- apparently he used the same brand of whiskey as
Ulysses S. Grant) and Quebec sent George-Étienne Cartier (with strict
instructions to remember the word "notwithstanding"). *

Their arrival was so unexpected that they had to row themselves ashore
in their top hats and frock coats (it's amazing what images stick in
one's mind) and make their way to a building with high ceilings and
tall arched windows which I knew about from my stamp collection.

These two men then proposed a union of all the British North American
colonies, to be called "Canada". The Maritime delegates were outraged!
Just at this psychological moment, however, some American newspapers
were delivered with lurid accounts of Atlanta in flames (including pix).

There was a long moment of silence as each Maritime delegate considered
the flammability of his colonial capital. Without another word spoken,
the concept of Canada came into being. By unanimous consensus. (It took
another 3 years before Confederation, but those are just details,
such as persuading the stubborn New Brunswickers).

* In Canada the legal principle of "Notwithstanding" means that anyone
who doesn't agree with a law doesn't have to abide by it. (So long as
they don't get caught).

SQ

 > Actually, after Quebec, Alberta comes closest to outting province before
 > country.
 > It's all just lines on a map.

 



Interesting way of putting it.  I'm pretty sure most every semi-sane
person is "scared" when the bat-shit crazy people go wild.  Being
"scared" doesn't make one neutral. Lots of "scared" people have fought
and died for what they believe in.

In war, it isn't about being scared or thinking anything through, it's
about control and doing what you're told. If only more people had the
good sense to consider why they fight, we'd have a lot more
"Canadians" in this world.  At least it takes them a heated hockey
game to get worked up over...

 

b2dcf01b8a37@d34g2000vbm.googlegroups.com:



You need to take in one of the Labour Day football games then.

--
Bob Mann

Cap'n, ah need moor pow'r.

 



Trolling Canadians is a hit or miss hobby. It's maddeningly frustrating most
times skewering them into an interplay of words and thoughts. Shape
shifters, the lot of them.


It's difficult to imagine any other outcome, considering your overall
geniality.