Re: Anaheim 1

 Harumph! I should be there too!
 Only 20 miles away from my home.
 Got pre-plans. Maybe I'll make Y2 or Y3.
 May the best man win.
 Jeff

"Mike S."  wrote:

 On 1/5/2012 11:28 PM, Mike S. wrote:

reed, unless seth enters as a zombie
john

    and now for something completely different
--------------------------------------------------

by Jonathan E. Quist DoD #94


[Scene: A sterile engineering office. A lone figure, whom we'll call
Chuck, stands by a printer output bin, wearing a white CDC lab coat,
with 5 mechanical pencils in a pocket protector.]

(editor's note: For some reason a great deal of amusement was had at
the First Annual DoD Uni-Coastal Ironhorse Ride & Joust by denizens
referring to each other as "Chuck". I guess you had to be there. I
wasn't.)

Chuck: I didn't want to be a Software Systems Analyst,
cow-towing to the whims of a machine, and saying yessir, nosir,
may-I-have-another-sir. My mother made me do it. I wanted
to live a man's life,
[Music slowly builds in background]
riding Nortons and Triumphs through the highest mountain passes
and the deepest valleys,
living the life of a Motorcyclist;
doing donuts and evading the police;
terrorizing old ladies and raping small children;
eating small dogs for tea (and large dogs for dinner). In short,

I Want to be A Denizen!

[Chuck rips off his lab coat, revealing black leather jacket (with
fringe), boots, and cap. Scene simultaneously changes to the top of
an obviously assaulted Rollins Pass. A small throng of Hell's Angels
sit on their Harleys in the near background, gunning their engines,
showering lookers-on with nails as they turn donuts, and leaking oil
on the tarmac. Chuck is standing in front of a heavily chromed Fat
Boy.]

Chuck [Sings to the tune of "The Lumberjack Song"]:

I'm a Denizen and I'm okay,
I flame all night and I ride all day.

[Hell's Angels Echo Chorus, surprisingly heavy on tenors]:
He's a Denizen and he's okay,
He flames all night and he rides all day.

I ride my bike;
I eat my lunch;
I go to the lavat'ry.
On Wednesdays I ride Skyline,
Running children down with glee.

[Chorus]:
He rides his bike;
He eats his lunch;
He goes to the lavat'ry.
On Wednesdays he rides Skyline,
Running children down with glee.

[Chorus refrain]:
'Cause He's a Denizen...

I ride real fast,
My name is Chuck,
It somehow seems to fit.
I over-rate the worst bad f***,
But like a real good s***.

Oh, I'm a Denizen and I'm okay!
I flame all night and I ride all day.

[Chorus refrain]:
Oh, He's a Denizen...

I wear high heels
And bright pink shorts,
full leathers and a bra.
I wish I rode a Harley,
just like my dear mama.

[Chorus refrain]

 Unfortunately, I'm going to be holed up in a place with no TV or
internet on Saturday night.  Killing me.  Anybody willing to put the
race on DVD and send it to me?

JayC

 
that's what the DVR is for.  
--
Mike Baxter

 
DVR?  What's that?  Must be something connected to one o' dem new-
fangled cell phone thingies.

JayC